Actual excepts from Church Newsletters...
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Scouts are saving Aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Ushers will eat latecomers.
The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Tonight's sermon, "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the North and South ends of the church. Babies will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
Thursday night -- Potluck supper - Prayer and medication to follow.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.