Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear
People in Michigan go swimming in the Lakes.
* 60 above
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat
People in Michigan plant gardens.
*50 above
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.
*40 above
Italian & English cars won't start
People in Michigan drive with the windows down
*32 above
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Superior's water gets thicker.
*20 above
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.
*15 above
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.
*0
People in Miami all die...
Michiganders lick the flagpole.
*20 below
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.
*40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.
*60 below
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Michigan Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
*80 below
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Michigan rent some videos.
*100 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Michiganders get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.
*297 below
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products
Cows in Michigan complain about farmers with cold hands.
*460 below
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Michigan start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
*500 below
Hell freezes over.
The Lions win the Super Bowl!
Except for that last one! That's not funny!
